Dead even if Alive

They were all I had. My only connections into the real world. I loved them with all my might. I needed them like nothing else. And they needed me. They said I was, "Nice. And nice people are hard always to come by." They were my only true friends. My only real family.
We were together for the longest time. Letting them go was the hardest thing I had to do. I think I still can't, because if I could, I wouldn't be writing about them. The whole world says death isn't painful. But it is to those who hadn't died but lost people. Nobody prepares you for that. Death is the end of someones life. But not only of the person being cremated or buried. No one Can prepare you for that.
When the disaster took them away I wanted it to take me too. But it didn't and I was to live my life alone. In depression and coldness. All alone. I knew death and I welcomed it. Because at least I would get my lives back then.....
......I'm much better now. I have let them go for the most bit. And I know they are fine, wherever they are. That eased the pain and helped me heal from their loss. Right now, I continue to heal. It's a long process.

This was fiction. Death is something I have experience with but not on the scale I have presented above. I just had to post this entry though. For all those who have lost someone so close. I believe it would get better for them. 

For those who lost people in the Brazil and Australia floods, I hope you can be alright someday, no matter how long it takes.

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."

The Challenge

When I looked back at my Twilight calendar (yes, I did have a Twilight calendar in '10) I realized just how many holiday celebrations there are in the world. I know this because Edward Sparklyhands displays several, if not all of them. It was sad to see that I had yet not celebrated 93% of these holidays. So this year, I decided that screwing every other clichéd resolution people would make and then well.....not go through with, I would challenge myself. So:

The challenge was that I would, like any other lonely blogger with 3 followers, Celebrate EVERY holiday of the year.
And of course I told myself.......

The year will be an enjoyable one. I look forward to beating last year me.

Not New.... Just Old

The little girl smiled, though part of her wanted to break down crying. She wasn't ready for this. For the new things. For all the change. She felt angry that it was ending and that she couldn't do anything about it. It made her upset; right when everything was falling into place, she had to start all over again. Yet, she smiled. Smiled because she could at least start over now. Forgive those who had wronged her and forgot the mistakes she had made.....
........ But forgiving and forgetting takes time. And time is so tiring..it gets so hurtful. And she was comfortable here. The time here had become her friend. Life was being kind to her. In the beginning it was just as tough as the coming moments were going to be. But now, she had settled in. Everybody knew her, got used to her and liked her too. And now her glory was coming to an abrupt end.
While she thought of all this, that sad part of her got bigger and bigger, till it got hold of completely. And she cried.
And then suddenly through the screen of wet tears, she saw the future. She became positive again. She knew she was still young and once she realized the confidence in herself come alive, she heard the truth,
"Honey, you don't have to start over again. It won't be a new beginning. It would just be the time now getting older. That way, all you have to do is make things better. Not forget the good times but replace the bad ones with new experiences."
And the little girl smiled again. But this time with conviction. She gave a soft laugh and stepped out to become the old year she was now. Still there was a change, but a happy one. She gladly embraced herself to be 2011

 

 

 

Happy 2011 everyone! Have a great year ahead! :)